“When people give up on being in charge of their lives by ignoring what they feel, they become internally frozen and start expecting others to tell them what they feel (or should be feeling) and what to do.

Unfortunately, friends, and even therapists, may fall into the trap and start to give advice to such “helpless” people about what they could or should do. This, of course, rarely works…these “helpful” interventions usually end up in “irrational” explosions of frustration —by the advisee, or from the, now helpless, “guiding lights” of the friends or therapists.”

— Bessel Van Der Kolk, The Handbook of Body Psychotherapy