Were you shamed, humiliated, mocked, criticized, called names or yelled at? Were you isolated from friends? Did a caregiver compete with you instead of encouraging you?

Were you hit at a child? Spanked? Pushed? Restrained? Even if this felt normal and you do not think it was a big deal, your nervous system may still hold the trauma and it may be causing symptoms.

Were you molested? Raped? Talked to in a sexual way? Flirted with by an adult? Date raped with our without drugs? Exposed to sex or sexual violence? Incest? Sex trafficking?

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Were you left alone to fend for yourself as a child? Did you ever feel like you had to grow up and be the one to care for your siblings or your parents? Were you treated more like a friend than a child?

Sometimes parents are unable to attune to a child's needs and emotions due to their own emotional immaturity, mental health diagnoses, substance use, oppression, family circumstances, or other life stressors.

Were you impacted by parental divorce, breakup, or busy work schedules? Were you not accepted or valued for key aspects of your identity? Experiences of abandonment or rejection at key developmental moments often carry into adulthood.

Research shows that if parents have unresolved trauma they may have trauma responses in the context of parenting that cause their children to develop symptoms of their own, often without memory of any specific traumatizing incident.

Did you witness violence in your family or community as a child? Sometimes this can leave trauma responses in the nervous system that cause symptoms, even if you were not the primary victim of the violence.

Did you have surgery or life-threatening illness as a child? Were there complications during your birth? Trauma responses due to these issues can be held in the nervous system, causing problems down the line.

Studies show that children who grew up in high achieving environments are more prone to anxiety, depression and substance use issues, especially if parents prioritized achievement. Often this was very well-meaning but leaves debilitating wounds.

Children exposed to racism, misogyny, classism, ableism, heterosexism, patriarchy, colonialism, and religious fundamentalism can cause many different types of wounding. Sometimes the oppression becomes internalized in critical parts of the self.

Being bullied in childhood can leave wounds that last a lifetime, particularly if you felt alone with the pain of this and without emotional support from your caregivers. Feeling socially “othered” can be very threatening because we are hardwired for connection as human beings.

Do you feel overwhelmed? Restless? Irritable? Do you have looping thoughts? Racing thoughts? Analysis paralysis? Fidgeting? Uncomfortable in your own skin? Do you worry about how people see you? Is it hard to relax and be yourself?

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Have you been advised to do some trauma work by a psychiatrist, therapist, treatment center or other helping professional? Were you diagnosed with PTSD or told you experienced complex trauma?

Does it take a long time to recover from stressful events? Do you shift between numbness and big feelings? Uncontrollable crying? Rage? Shame spirals? Panic? Dissociation? Feeling spaced out? Disconnected inside?

Do you feel shut down? Sad most of the time? Hopeless? Have you lost your spark? Did other treatments fail? Treatment resistant depression in particular can be associated with an unresolved collapse trauma response in the nervous system - it may have been triggered by something in your current life that is connected to childhood trauma.

It is very common for trauma survivors to have chronic pain. This pain can be the result of unresolved trauma responses in the nervous system that cause tension - fight, flight, freeze, and collapse. Healing is possible when these responses complete and resolve in the body using somatic therapy approaches.

All kinds of relationships can be painful for survivors of childhood trauma - family, friends, acquaintances, and intimate partners. The pain is often the most intense with feelings of abandonment, rejection, and shame. There may be ways of coping that push people away in the times when they are needed the most, which is one of the most heartbreaking aspects of being a survivor of childhood trauma.

Do you have a history of using substances or other addictive behaviors to cope with life? Are you in recovery from an addiction or substance abuse?

Healing unresolved trauma can help you prevent symptoms in your child. It can also create healing opportunities in relationships with your children.

Do you wear yourself out trying to be perfect? Do you criticize yourself? Does this hold you back? Does it create pain inside? Are you exhausted?

Many survivors of childhood trauma isolate or have trouble connecting with others in meaningful ways. Some feel alone even though they are surrounded by people. This is heartbreaking because love and belonging is often needed the most.

It’s common to feel misunderstood. This could be very activating because it touches on old wounds. Communication might be hard at times due to big emotional responses and trauma symptoms, making it even harder to feel heard.

Are you shy? Are you closed emotionally? Do you choose the “wrong” relationships? Do you caretake others? People please? Is it hard to trust? Do you have communication issues? Is it hard to say no? Is it hard to say yes? Do you lack community?